It is true. We discovered a short while ago that Max and I are expecting number 3. Now granted there was some shock value behind this, so much I was struck unfunctionable for a day. I had just become accepting of having 2 beautiful girls, satisfied as one may say, finished trying for another, after 4 1/2 years of trying. I was accepting what was before me, instead of my instinct. Instead of my hubby's feelings there was one more. I was ready to be happy with 2. There were moments of... I can afford 2. I can develop properly 2. A moment of grateful I am not in the baby stages, and worried about our world, bringing one more into this greedy world. One may feel 4 1/2 years of trying... and not being pregnant meant I was not able to be pregnant. My ability was finished, I need to be grateful I carried 2 beautiful children....... and beautiful they are. They are the light of my life. I love hearing their laughter, their discoveries, their delight in life. I enjoy helping them overcome obstacles, helping them help others, and realize the world is bigger than you and I. We are here to help others become who they need to become.
As the paradigm has shifted in my eyes about the size of my family, excitement and awe has filled my life. There is no doubt that this child is a gift from God. A child He has decided needs to be in our family, a child I will get the privilege of rearing and helping and training to be raised to fulfill His plan. I feel honored and very humble at this opportunity to, with my husband, bring another child of God into this world. To discover with this child the abilities, strengths and weaknesses. To help conquer obstacles and be triumphant!
I thought I had a little control over this aspect of my life, but I have come to realize I don't. I am at the mercy of God in this avenue. So through the nausea, messy house, tired days, hormonal, and very uncomfortable months, I get to experience a little miracle in creating life. Cherishing the moments.